Being Bitter

I think I have decided what my problem is. My problem is that I'm bitter and I'm annoyed that I'm bitter because bitterness is really the summation of wallowing in self-pity and blaming the rest of the world for it but yourself. I googled 'how not to be bitter', and I got results to do with chocolate, Jennifer Aniston and a quote which read "If life were not so bitter, revenge would not be sweet." Hm, now wouldn't that bring about the desired results.

I hate the people who brought about changes (possibly permanent) to my life, and I hate that they probably think I'm over it. I hate that they are happy, and I hate that the rest of the world is happy, and I hate that okay while I've got a beautiful relationship and all, without it I am nothing. I hate that if I run into them, there would be exchanges of "Hey oh my gosh, it's been so long! How was your summer?" and I would have to be all smiley when deep down inside I don't really give a shit. And yes, I did use the word 'hate', or okay fine, temper it by substituting 'hate' with 'don't care much for'.

I think I hate the world (or at least this part of it) so much that I can't even be bothered to find new friends, because a) I'm very happy with the ones I have right now and b) I have no time for this whole pretentious crap of making friends just because I need to keep myself happy and satisfied. Oh wow, no wonder no one would become my friend.

Then I look at the new friends I have made over the summer and I wonder, why can't things be that easy all the time? Maybe the worst thing is that it is to a large extent true that I have brought all this upon myself. "Dug my own grave", as one of them so kindly put it.

Anyway, why have I written all of this? Because when googling, someone in Yahoo answers suggested I write down everything I was feeling. Hm, it works... marginally. But ok whatever, the first step to a cure is self-admission. I admit I am bitter, and I wish to eradicate this bitterness. Hence, I shall try to live with purpose and in so doing find new purposes and search for the finer things in life. I will rise above. I will rise above my feelings of bitterness, rise above these people who are the cause of my bitterness, and view them collectively as peasants unworthy of my time, effort and emotion.

I suppose being bitter might not always be bad if it gives you yummy bitter lemonade.

Does one have to be a prat to get over one's bitterness? Anyway, I'm convinced somehow, that life this year will be better, in spite of my telling myself that term after term.