As it is, G and I have predicted correctly that upon arriving in the great land of Britain I would hardly post. Nevertheless, I shall make an effort! Currently I am extremely tired from going around town shopping for new sheets to spruce up my room and also baking something as a welcome gift for A.

The new sheets will come on tomorrow, for I would hate for it to be messed up when I sleep it in tonight. The irony of nice bedspreads.

After 36 hours, I have put most (95%) things into where they are supposed to be. My clothes have managed to fit into my cupboards and I really did feel like Carrie Bradshaw trying to move house. Toss or Take, anyone?

Then today I slowly attempted to talk to people again. I had dinner in hall, engaged in so-so conversations - some parts interesting, some parts obligatory and just tried hard to enjoy myself and the company of other people. So I might have gone to the bar if I didn't have clothes awaiting packing or something to bake, but I don't know, maybe this is all the socialising I can take for now. It's like hello social world, and oh boy isn't it awkward not having seen you after all this while?

N is coming back tomorrow, and I think soon maybe H and S. S is an annoying jerk, but at least he is a Good Person, or at least this comes from 6 weeks of observations in Capitol Tower days. As for N, I have not seen him for 2 months, and quite simply it is good to have a familiar face around.

Okay, this entry is as no frills as it gets, and in the coming days there will be the socially awkward situations, as I try to balance love and life again. I don't know if it'll be possible but I suppose the most important thing is to be happy regardless of what you have or do not have.

No pictures from last night unfortunately, but I will miss all of you and Sams. Hope everyone survives our TK obsessions, looming deadlines, tank-repairing and Britney anticipation. So till then, much love! xxx

As September ends, this marks several things. Firstly, I have completed my mandatory trip to Malaysia. I'm not sure if I'm considered Malaysian, because apparently somewhere in the dusty (Oh Mom forbid) drawers of my home, there lies a Malaysian citizenship certificate belonging to me. In any case, comments about the trip shall be kept to a minimum, because I do not wish to be detained for 2 years under the ISA.

Secondly, the packing begins! There appears to be (minimal, yet present) space in my suitcase, although the impending arrival of shoes and miscellaneous items seem likely to complicate things.

Packing light is so much prettier. :(

Thirdly, I did not get local pens in the end because I was too lazy to walk from AMK hub to the Popular probably about 400m away, which saddens me, but at the same time I am giam and also maybe it's time to get used to overpriced British pens.

Fourthly, I really think the horoscope on iGoogle is highly accurate.

Fifthly, where has N disappeared to?

Sixthly, I want a preppy blazer. :(

So in light of the recent financial turmoil (no, I am not going to write a post pretending that I have enough intellectual credibility to completely dissect the situation), I just had to share the following blurb from Bloomberg, because it really is quite funny.

From: Bright Side of a Total Financial Market Collapse
Point #4: We have lots of new houses.
Not all of them have people in them, sadly, but that's a minor detail. Even better, no one has had to pay for them, and probably never will.

[read more]

On the other hand, as a typical university undergraduate who has been impressioned upon from a young age that i-banking is The Lucrative Industry, the recent financial crisis has got several implications.

1. After hearing from good old cousin Pete (not a real name) that being in the financial industry can earn you big bucks, I have not considered any other career choice.
2. After working on my CV for the past 5 years to get myself a prestigious finance internship in my next summer, it all seems irrelevant now that these firms no longer exist.
3. As I convince myself that fewer firms just means greater prestige and greater competition, the share prices of these firms continue to tumble like a stack of Jenga blocks.

Quite simply, for the average undergrad, I wonder if recent events have just translated into a complete alteration of the all-too-vital internship landscape for next summer. In the coming months, the university career fair will be missing the prominent Lehman Brothers (I think I still have some kind of freebie from them). Other prominent high-flyers might not choose to be there. It's weird how just a couple of weeks ago I had signed up for my internship application account, and now how "I am very keen in experiencing for myself first hand the intensity and excitement in the front office of an investment bank" just seems to take on a whole new level and to be honest, just doesn't quite cut it anymore.

In last year's Asia-Pacific Careers fair which CUMSA organised, only finance companies were featured, with the clear assumption that that was where young undergrads' priorities lay. What I'm keen to know is whether these priorities are going to change in the midst of billions of buckeroos flying left right and centre.

I mean, I don't mean to be myopic, but I think Wall Street should get its act together, for all the recent drama is causing several young and hopeful undergraduates to reconsider their future in a way like they've never done before. That, is peril for the average 20 year old and the future of our nation.

So yesterday being bored (wow, this is looking like such a trend), I decided to configure my iGoogle as my homepage, using this as a very nice background for it. You know, the whole Japanese sakura, origami-like feel can actually be quite therapeautic.

And obviously being me, a very very proud Scorpio, I have to have a daily horoscope as part of my iGoogle homepage. So today's horoscope reads:

Positive feelings about yourself allow you to feel better about others in your life, too. Normally, you want your friends to be reliable and can get upset when they are not. Now, however, you are more accepting of them because you are not feeling insecure. Even if your relationships are working out well, you still should take the time to communicate your appreciation.

I take this as a sign that my wounded soul is being healed from within. Thank you, iGoogle for teaching me to open my heart.

I think I have decided what my problem is. My problem is that I'm bitter and I'm annoyed that I'm bitter because bitterness is really the summation of wallowing in self-pity and blaming the rest of the world for it but yourself. I googled 'how not to be bitter', and I got results to do with chocolate, Jennifer Aniston and a quote which read "If life were not so bitter, revenge would not be sweet." Hm, now wouldn't that bring about the desired results.

I hate the people who brought about changes (possibly permanent) to my life, and I hate that they probably think I'm over it. I hate that they are happy, and I hate that the rest of the world is happy, and I hate that okay while I've got a beautiful relationship and all, without it I am nothing. I hate that if I run into them, there would be exchanges of "Hey oh my gosh, it's been so long! How was your summer?" and I would have to be all smiley when deep down inside I don't really give a shit. And yes, I did use the word 'hate', or okay fine, temper it by substituting 'hate' with 'don't care much for'.

I think I hate the world (or at least this part of it) so much that I can't even be bothered to find new friends, because a) I'm very happy with the ones I have right now and b) I have no time for this whole pretentious crap of making friends just because I need to keep myself happy and satisfied. Oh wow, no wonder no one would become my friend.

Then I look at the new friends I have made over the summer and I wonder, why can't things be that easy all the time? Maybe the worst thing is that it is to a large extent true that I have brought all this upon myself. "Dug my own grave", as one of them so kindly put it.

Anyway, why have I written all of this? Because when googling, someone in Yahoo answers suggested I write down everything I was feeling. Hm, it works... marginally. But ok whatever, the first step to a cure is self-admission. I admit I am bitter, and I wish to eradicate this bitterness. Hence, I shall try to live with purpose and in so doing find new purposes and search for the finer things in life. I will rise above. I will rise above my feelings of bitterness, rise above these people who are the cause of my bitterness, and view them collectively as peasants unworthy of my time, effort and emotion.

I suppose being bitter might not always be bad if it gives you yummy bitter lemonade.

Does one have to be a prat to get over one's bitterness? Anyway, I'm convinced somehow, that life this year will be better, in spite of my telling myself that term after term.